Friday, May 19, 2006

A Belated Mother's Day Post

Until I became a mother, I had no idea how your child could make you feel such a myriad of emotions. Pride one moment when they finally master the art of using a spoon and absolute frustration the next when they refuse to do so. Overwhelming love that makes you feel like your heart will break into a million pieces to indifference when they whine that they want more cheerios. I didn't understand sacrifice until I became a mother. I was slow to realize that when I had my children, I dropped to the bottom on the list of priorities. I lost the freedom to go out for a cocktail after work or to spontaneously go to the movies with my spouse - now those things involve planning and a lot more money. I can no longer fit four people in my car because 2 spaces are taken up by enormous car seats. I can't swing by the grocery store after work to pick up dinner for the night. I can't go out for a run with my coworkers after work or go on the Tri-Team's group bike rides on Thursday evenings. I fall asleep when I read a book now, often while I'm reading "Hop on Pop" and the boys have to nudge me awake. But oh, it's so worth it. Seeing their faces when I arrive at daycare - so excited to see me, scrambling over so they can give me a hug and rub their dirty smudged faces all over my crisp white shirt. Talking over each other as we walk out to the car and they tell me about their day. J getting in the car first so he can pull my lipstick out of my purse and D crying because he wanted to bring his stuffed kitty home with him and would I please go back and get it? Walking in the door with them firing requests and questions at me that when I answer always gets the question "why?" back. The sound of their feet slapping on the hallway floor every morning at 6:00 and then folding them in my arms so we can sleep together a few more minutes. Getting to sneak out every now and then while they're still sleeping so I can get a shower only to have them stumble into the bathroom as I'm toweling off with an emotional mixture of betrayal and joy on their faces. Hearing J giggle in his sleep is one of the most wonderful sounds I've ever heard. Listening to D sing Baby Beluga is the best music to my ears. Being their mom is the best gift these boys could ever give me.

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