Thursday, November 20, 2008


I always wanted to learn how to juggle. My brother got a book when he was a kid and he taught himself how to juggle. He's like that though. He decides he wants to learn something and he teaches himself. Jack is that way, too. He taught himself to whistle, to snap his fingers and, most recently, to tie his shoes. I never learned how to juggle - I didn't have the patience or discipline to keep trying, trying, and trying.
I'm juggling now though. The balls are different - various sizes and weights and sometimes there's three, sometimes ten. Every now and then life throws in a bowling pin instead of a ball, just to see if I'm paying attention. I haven't gotten anything as rough as a chainsaw yet, thank goodness. Sometimes all the balls fall and I get hit on the head. Usually it's a little ball like oops, the jogathon is today and I didn't get any pledges for Jack. In fact, so far it's only been little balls but since I don't expect it to get any less busy, I'm going to have to learn to juggle smarter.

I have a little project that I can't seem to get off the ground. I have the idea, have communicated the idea and my partners (and I) are very excited about it. Still, I can't seem to get it going. So, my goal for this week is to do an outline for this project with a schedule attached. Hopefully, with that kind of structure, a little discipline and a lot of support, I can get this thing going.

A friend of mine left me a message this morning about a project he's working on that I offered to help him with. He's excited and really making progress which he wants to share. I'm excited, too and really want to be involved. Where, oh where, do I find the time?

Talking to my dad yesterday I was suddenly struck with an idea. I can't stop thinking about it and yet, how on earth could I add one more thing to my already brimming plate?


I was going to write this week about one of the unexpected gifts of motherhood. In celebration of the boys' 6th birthday, of course. My mind was in the right place on Monday but I ran out of time. On Tuesday night I had the time but my mind was in the wrong place. I was cranky and out of sorts, overwhelmed by all the balls and one lone bowling pin circling overhead. Wednesday morning found me downright pissy and the lovely sentiments about motherhood's gifts were long gone. This morning was peaceful and sweet. The boys cuddled in bed together, their arms and legs intermingled, and they talked and giggled. Two little heads peeked out of a sea of navy blue and I almost got my camera but I didn't want to break the spell.

And that's what it is. An endless cycle of pure love followed by unfathomable exhaustion followed by pure love.

1 comment:

Daria said...

Your post made me think of the great scene in Parenthood where the grandma talks about life being a roller coaster or carousel. The roller coaster can feel overwhelming at times, but it's also very rich and keeps it interesting.