I was standing on the playground 10 feet from Dean when he made his ill-fated jump on Thursday. I couldn't figure out at the time what happened. It looked like he jumped but then why did he crumple to the ground? Why wouldn't he have landed on his feet? Was he pushed? I racked my brain trying to remember if there was another little kid behind him. Did he just lose his balance and fall? He complained that his head hurt, too. Did he hit it on the platform as he fell? I couldn't figure it out. The entire time we were at urgent care I had these questions running through my head. Dean wasn't much help because while most of the time he said he jumped, there were a couple of times that he said he was pushed. He also, in typical dramatic fashion, wailed that "I knew there was a reason I didn't like this school". As you read that sentence, make sure you elongate the 'ool' in school and add a little whine to it.
It wasn't until hours later when Dean and I finally made it to the restaurant to get a bite to eat and I was talking to my friend Janet, who was also there when it happened and who was a huge help in getting all our stuff out to the car so we could go to urgent care, when I finally realized what happened. He wasn't pushed, he didn't lose his balance - he jumped. But the missing link is that above the platform from which he jumped is a bar that snakes away from the platform to another part of the playstructure. It's so kids can swing like monkeys from bar to bar. Except, Dean didn't pay attention to those bars so when he jumped, he hit his head on the bar. That startled him and he drew himself up into a ball and reached up to rub his head, then realized he was in mid-air so started to put his feet down but by then it was too late - he landed on his left side and the left elbow took the brunt. He immediately started screaming and it was the kind of sound that you know means something bad. He was trying to rub his head but it became clear really quickly that the main problem was his arm. He had his shoulder pulled up high against his ear and he was holding his arm with his right hand. My initial thought was that he dislocated his shoulder. In fact, I held onto that thought right through the first round of xrays until we got the results which showed no problem in the shoulder. Then we took off his shirt and I noticed immediately the swelling near his elbow and that's when I thought "oh shit".
Luckily, the doc said it was a simple, clean fracture and he didn't expect any complications.
Throughout all this, I somehow managed to stay super calm. Like, extremely calm. My voice stayed low and quiet, I didn't shake, I didn't have to fight back tears. I held him, soothed him, even carried him when he asked me to. Jack was like my little sherpa. He carried our bottles of water and our snacks. He didn't hesitate, never tried to argue - just did what I asked. When their friend Draeghan (from the daycare) came into urgent care with a cut on his chin and then came into our room to play with Jack, I managed to stay completely calm despite the noise and chaos. Getting the final diagnosis was a huge relief and once Dean had a temporary cast to protect his arm, I could finally relax.
Ever since? I've been an anxious mess. My heart's racing, I can't catch my breath. It's so like me to fall apart once the crisis is over.
I gave myself a time out today. I told the boys that sometimes mommys need to take a time out too. That sometimes I just need to take a moment to find the good in me again. It worked well.
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And, in other news . . .
The boys had their first soccer game on Saturday. Dean couldn't play in the game but I had him "suit up" and while Jack practiced with his teammates, I practiced with Dean. The coach included him when he could, too.
Jack did really well. He listened to the coach and he hustled after that ball. He had a blast.
Here's Dean getting ready to start practicing.
Jack had just finished the practice session and was ready to play the game. He was also really hot and had just dumped half his water bottle on his head.
Jack is ecstatic after scoring his first goal!
Jack kicks it out to his teammates to run down field.
Dean shoots and scores!
1 comment:
What a rough and emotional week!
Isn't it always when you start asking yourself "Are they always going to be like this and what do I do??" then they change and move on from that stage to the next? They have to keep us on our toes!
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