Tuesday, September 16, 2008


This transition from preschool to kindergarten is harder than I thought it would be. And now that I re-read that, because of course I'm re-reading it I can't ever stop self editing, it isn't so much the transition from preschool work to kindergarten work that is difficult. It's the transition from a small, intimate caregiving situation to a large scale, institutional caretaking situation that I'm having a hard time with. I remember my friend Lisa worrying when her son Frank was about to enter kindergarten, not about the work and whether he'd be able to keep up, but rather she was worried that he wouldn't be loved or valued for the unique, special boy that he is. I find myself worried about the same thing. I know they are capable of the work, I know they have the fine motor skills for writing and I'm not worried about them learning how to read or tie their shoes. I know those skills will come in time. Instead, I wonder if Dean's teacher finds him charming and sweet or thinks he's too mouthy and disruptive. I am also more worried about Dean than Jack which is a little surprising to me. I was concerned that Jack would have a hard time being separated from Dean. I reasoned that Dean is so independent and just as happy to play on his own as not and figured that he would get along fine. And he is and the surprise is that Jack is fine being on his own. Which is great! So why am I obsessing?

Because I have no direct connection to either of their teachers and I feel out of the loop about how they are managing the work, the rules, and mostly the change from the organic and holistic philosophy to an institutional one.

I do like their school and everyday when I arrive, they ask for 5 more minutes so they are clearly enjoying their after-school care.

I know this is good for them. I know this experience is less traumatic for them than it is for me. I know that learning to navigate in this larger environment will provide the building blocks for their ability to manage change in their future. I know, I know.

Somehow I have to resolve myself to this new phase of our lives and embrace the challenges.

I'm working on it.

1 comment:

Daria said...

It is quite a shock, isn't it? And that they manage to do great is amazing. Lucky for me I have a very talkative daughter who tells me all the details of the day so I get the scoop. Ugh, that angry boy in class that gets kicked out every day...about to lose my patience with that! Anyway, I have the teacher's email which is fantastic and helpful. Do your teachers offer their email or can you ask for that? Never hurts to ask...
Good luck and thanks for sharing.