Thursday, November 29, 2007

Memories

Ever notice how you can be just minding your own business and suddenly, something comes along and triggers a memory? Maybe it's a song that you hear on the radio or a scent that wafts near you and then, without realizing it you're reliving an event or just a period in your life. Hopefully, it's a happy period.
I'm thinking about this because of my previous post with the recipe card for Calamari Sauce. It was written 15 years ago by my friend Mary Beth and her handwriting took me back in time, when I was struggling . . . struggling to find myself, to figure out what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be. It was a time in which I desperately wanted my relationship with Tom to work but I didn't know how to be me because I wasn't sure who I was. Looking back, she seems like another girl - someone I knew once who was fun and nice but a little insecure and needy. At some times I was just the kind of friend you needed, the kind who will drop everything and help you move and take you out to get your mind off your sadness. At other times, I was the wrong kind of honest and probably hurt my friends because of it. I'm not proud of her.
My evolution has taken years and still, I'm not done yet.
Meanwhile, I marvel at the way memories come flooding back - the writing on a recipe card that reminds me of old friends, old ways.

1 comment:

Geri said...

Yeah, well, I AM proud of her. She was a little bitty thing who would help you escape a dangerous boyfriend - and even drive the huge moving truck if that's what a friend needed. She was smart and funny amd madly in love. She was doing the best she could. We all were. She was young. We all were. She made mistakes. We all did. THAT girl became THIS incredible woman and I don't know many of those people any more, but hopefully, we all did.